Tuesday, September 22, 2009


Dear Stephen,
Hi, Babe. Crazy day here in the Mayhle household. Our car broke down today. It would have been so much easier if I could have just called you and let you deal with it or at least been able to ask you what I should do. I hate being dependent on people. Loved being dependent on you. Anyway, the Pittsburgh Police came to the rescue, yet again, and helped me out.

Other than that, it's been a really relaxing week. It has been dreary and you know how I love rainy days. Thankfully I didn't have a full schedule so I was able to sit around and pretty much do nothing.

The G-20 is here in Pittsburgh. I know I would have been scared if I knew you were down there dealing with all the crazies, but on the other hand, I know you would have had a blast. I will be so glad when it's all over. So afraid the officers I know will get hurt.

Brooklynn loves drawing pictures and I was noticing today that in almost every picture she draws, she always draws a picture of you up in the sky. Alot of times, you are crying or we are crying. She is always very chipper and happy, but never forgets to add you.

Wishing you were here with me,

Friday, September 11, 2009

"Here We Go!"

Dear Stephen,
Last night was the first official game of the season and we won! Unfortunately at this point, I am having trouble being excited about the football season. Too many memories of you. Memories of you acting like a kid on game day....frying up wings....putting on your jersey.....you calling your dad, excited they won or disgusted they lost....turning on our CD of "Here We Go" and you singing it with Jennifer... I'm sure someday these will be fond memories, but right now they hurt too bad. I want to be excited just for you because you would be if you were here, but I just can't do it. Losing you took the fun out of alot of things for me.

The girls had a great week in school. Brooklynn was apprehensive about going to school by herself yesterday, but when I picked her up she emphatically told me, "I LOVE SCHOOL!!!!" Jennifer has made alot of friends which I'm so excited about. It's so cute listening to her talk about them. However, she did tell me last night that there is a boy in her class that she thinks is cute and he keeps putting his face close to hers. I told her that you would not be a happy camper and she said, "But, Mommy!! I like it!!!" Great. Fantastic. Wish you could march into school and give Romeo the speech you had all planned out for situations like that!

I tried taking a nap yesterday and I was thinking about how much I loved taking naps with you. For some reason, I would normally get the giggles and you would sigh deeply and say, "I thought we were going to take a nap?!", which would only make me laugh more. Alot of times you would roll over and tell me to hold you, which I did gladly. I always felt so secure and peaceful. You were, by far, at the top of my list of "Favorite Things".

Loving you forever,

Tuesday, September 8, 2009


Hey, Babe!
Just wanted to tell you some of the stuff Brooklynn has come off with the last several days. I keep thinking you would be getting such a kick out of her!

She told me that she was full of mud. When I asked her why, she told me she didn't know, but she felt it in her bones.

While playing with her Barbie's today, she told me they were being unscrupulous. Granted, she's heard Dad say that, but she used it in context. When Krista asked her what "unscrupulous" meant, she said "They were being bad!"

Wish you were here to laugh with me,

First Day of Preschool

Dear Stephen,
Well, we did it. Another milestone without you here with us. Our little girl started preschool today and thoroughly enjoyed it.

~The morning started out a little dramatic, but I wouldn't expect any less from Brooklynn! :-)~
~Clearly your kids~
~Can you believe how adorable they are? I'm so proud to be the mother of your children!~

~Our sweet angel~

~A tad apprehensive, waiting to go into class~

~Enjoying a literary masterpiece~

~Playing Mommy~

Thursday, September 3, 2009


Hey, Babe,
It's been nice having a routine back in our lives again this week. Brooklynn has been awesome at entertaining herself while Jennifer is at school. I've been staying at home for the most part, working around the house.

Jennifer is really liking school. She wasn't a happy camper this morning because she just wanted to sleep in, but never complained about going to school. I'm so happy!

Brooklynn has really bounced back great from surgery. No complications so far and she hardly complains about anything hurting her.

I mowed the yard today. Even though I can't tell that it's making a difference, I want you to know, Mister, that one week I mow the yard vertically, the next I mow it horizontally. I know you loved a checkerboard pattern. Horizontally takes more time, but I remind myself it's how you would have done it.

Because of the new carpet, the door on our old bedroom was awful to shut. So, Krista and I took it to the basement today and used your table saw to cut it shorter. I was pretty proud of myself for figuring it out! Thanks for making me help you do stuff. I remember seeing you work the machine and we were able to cut it with not problem. Problem solved.

It's been great being home more with Jennifer in school. It feels good to work around the house. I am finding though that unless I have at least small plans for the evening, the day seems endless, with no purpose. I used to love our evenings...you made my life so happy.

All yours,

The Dance

Tuesday, September 1, 2009


Dear Stephen,
Well, after hearing Jennifer voice her many complaints about school the whole way home yesterday after picking her up, I am very pleased to report that she came out of school with a smile on her face today! I was somewhat optimistic this morning when she didn't complain at all about getting ready and even said she was a "tiny bit excited" about going to school today. She is just like you. Heaven forbid she admit she was wrong and actually might like school! :-) However, admitting you have altered your views ever so slightly is perfectly acceptable. That is reason #979 why I loved you so much. You were so fun to harass! Anyone listening to us would have thought we were enemies sometimes the way we harassed each other! It was so much fun though.

Krista is moved in with me now. It is so nice having another adult here to talk to even if I haven't got to see her much. I know that is something you would have been excited about for me.

Brooklynn is doing great from her surgery. Such a cutie. THAT comes from me. No doubt about it. ;-)

I looked at some of your pictures today and as it frequently does, I was struck again how impossible it is that you aren't with me anymore. I see the pictures and remember how I felt and how you were while the picture was taken and it just seems so real...tangible. Then I remember you are gone. It's an overwhelming feeling of separation. Just know I will always be forever grateful I was able to spend 10 yrs of my life being your girl. I was so blessed to be loved by you.

Wanting you back so bad,