Monday, January 11, 2010

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Kids' Praise

Dear Stephen,

I had several people ask me if the six month anniversary of you being gone was hard on me. It really didn't seem harder than any other day. It's the things that you would never expect would bother me that knock the breath out of me.

Brooklynn's school had a small singing program on Thursday. When she saw me walk into the room, her little face just beamed with excitement that I had come. It only took a couple minutes of me watching her to make me heartbroken. I know that if you would have been there, your heart would have almost burst with love for her. She was so adorable. When I sit in a room full of parents like that, I realize just how much you completed me. I feel so out of place and alone. I wish I could go back to before you were killed. I would snuggle closer to you when you put your arm around me. I would absorb how it felt to have everything right in my world. I would fully appreciate your strength, character and humor. I miss you, Babe. I didn't sign up for this. I signed up to be your wife and mother of your kids. Not your widow. I need you.

Loving you,

Notice how she is playing with her ears... I was telling her a couple days ago that her Daddy used to play with his ears just like she did. She got so excited and said that when she got to heaven, she was going to ask you to play with your ears. :-)

Lake Placid, NY

Dear Stephen,

We were invited to a police hockey tournament held in Lake Placid, NY. They honored you three guys this year. Scuillos and I were able to go and they spoiled us rotten! Something that I think over and over since you were killed was that you would have loved to meet some of the people that I have got to meet. It was wonderful being with Scuillos and meeting the people from Lake Placid.
Monday night they had a banquet for the hockey players which were mostly all policemen. There were about 7 teams there. Three or four of the teams made presentations to Scuillos and I. It was very moving to see how people are still affected by the tragedy.
I wish you were still here so you could go skiing there. Gorgeous! It's such a neat little town. I would love to go in the winter and get snowed in!
Love you so much!

~Ausable Chasms...on the way to Lake Placid~

~Ausable Chasms~

~New York State Trooper, Mike...he took us on a tour of Lake Placid, including Olympic sites. Such a great man! Mrs. Scuillo is small, but Trooper Mike is just plain big! 6 ft. 8 in. big!~

~Olympic Bobsled Run~

~Practicing jumping...they land in the pool. Pretty awesome to see!~

~The view from my motel room...gorgeous~

~Olympic Ski Jump~

~PA State Police on the left and Pittsburgh Police on the right~

~Our guys~

Niagra Falls

Hey Babe,

Julia and I took the kids to Niagra Falls a couple weeks ago. They all did so great. Brooklynn and Alyssa even got along great which we both know is a miracle!!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009


Dear Stephen,
Hi, Babe. Crazy day here in the Mayhle household. Our car broke down today. It would have been so much easier if I could have just called you and let you deal with it or at least been able to ask you what I should do. I hate being dependent on people. Loved being dependent on you. Anyway, the Pittsburgh Police came to the rescue, yet again, and helped me out.

Other than that, it's been a really relaxing week. It has been dreary and you know how I love rainy days. Thankfully I didn't have a full schedule so I was able to sit around and pretty much do nothing.

The G-20 is here in Pittsburgh. I know I would have been scared if I knew you were down there dealing with all the crazies, but on the other hand, I know you would have had a blast. I will be so glad when it's all over. So afraid the officers I know will get hurt.

Brooklynn loves drawing pictures and I was noticing today that in almost every picture she draws, she always draws a picture of you up in the sky. Alot of times, you are crying or we are crying. She is always very chipper and happy, but never forgets to add you.

Wishing you were here with me,

Friday, September 11, 2009

"Here We Go!"

Dear Stephen,
Last night was the first official game of the season and we won! Unfortunately at this point, I am having trouble being excited about the football season. Too many memories of you. Memories of you acting like a kid on game day....frying up wings....putting on your calling your dad, excited they won or disgusted they lost....turning on our CD of "Here We Go" and you singing it with Jennifer... I'm sure someday these will be fond memories, but right now they hurt too bad. I want to be excited just for you because you would be if you were here, but I just can't do it. Losing you took the fun out of alot of things for me.

The girls had a great week in school. Brooklynn was apprehensive about going to school by herself yesterday, but when I picked her up she emphatically told me, "I LOVE SCHOOL!!!!" Jennifer has made alot of friends which I'm so excited about. It's so cute listening to her talk about them. However, she did tell me last night that there is a boy in her class that she thinks is cute and he keeps putting his face close to hers. I told her that you would not be a happy camper and she said, "But, Mommy!! I like it!!!" Great. Fantastic. Wish you could march into school and give Romeo the speech you had all planned out for situations like that!

I tried taking a nap yesterday and I was thinking about how much I loved taking naps with you. For some reason, I would normally get the giggles and you would sigh deeply and say, "I thought we were going to take a nap?!", which would only make me laugh more. Alot of times you would roll over and tell me to hold you, which I did gladly. I always felt so secure and peaceful. You were, by far, at the top of my list of "Favorite Things".

Loving you forever,

Tuesday, September 8, 2009


Hey, Babe!
Just wanted to tell you some of the stuff Brooklynn has come off with the last several days. I keep thinking you would be getting such a kick out of her!

She told me that she was full of mud. When I asked her why, she told me she didn't know, but she felt it in her bones.

While playing with her Barbie's today, she told me they were being unscrupulous. Granted, she's heard Dad say that, but she used it in context. When Krista asked her what "unscrupulous" meant, she said "They were being bad!"

Wish you were here to laugh with me,