First Day of Preschool

Dear Stephen,
Well, we did it. Another milestone without you here with us. Our little girl started preschool today and thoroughly enjoyed it.

~The morning started out a little dramatic, but I wouldn't expect any less from Brooklynn! :-)~

~Clearly your kids~

~Can you believe how adorable they are? I'm so proud to be the mother of your children!~

~Our sweet angel~

~A tad apprehensive, waiting to go into class~

~Enjoying a literary masterpiece~

~Playing Mommy~

Thursday

Hey, Babe,
It's been nice having a routine back in our lives again this week. Brooklynn has been awesome at entertaining herself while Jennifer is at school. I've been staying at home for the most part, working around the house.

Jennifer is really liking school. She wasn't a happy camper this morning because she just wanted to sleep in, but never complained about going to school. I'm so happy!

Brooklynn has really bounced back great from surgery. No complications so far and she hardly complains about anything hurting her.

I mowed the yard today. Even though I can't tell that it's making a difference, I want you to know, Mister, that one week I mow the yard vertically, the next I mow it horizontally. I know you loved a checkerboard pattern. Horizontally takes more time, but I remind myself it's how you would have done it.

Because of the new carpet, the door on our old bedroom was awful to shut. So, Krista and I took it to the basement today and used your table saw to cut it shorter. I was pretty proud of myself for figuring it out! Thanks for making me help you do stuff. I remember seeing you work the machine and we were able to cut it with not problem. Problem solved.

It's been great being home more with Jennifer in school. It feels good to work around the house. I am finding though that unless I have at least small plans for the evening, the day seems endless, with no purpose. I used to love our evenings...you made my life so happy.

All yours,
Shandra

The Dance

Tuesday

Dear Stephen,
Well, after hearing Jennifer voice her many complaints about school the whole way home yesterday after picking her up, I am very pleased to report that she came out of school with a smile on her face today! I was somewhat optimistic this morning when she didn't complain at all about getting ready and even said she was a "tiny bit excited" about going to school today. She is just like you. Heaven forbid she admit she was wrong and actually might like school! :-) However, admitting you have altered your views ever so slightly is perfectly acceptable. That is reason #979 why I loved you so much. You were so fun to harass! Anyone listening to us would have thought we were enemies sometimes the way we harassed each other! It was so much fun though.

Krista is moved in with me now. It is so nice having another adult here to talk to even if I haven't got to see her much. I know that is something you would have been excited about for me.

Brooklynn is doing great from her surgery. Such a cutie. THAT comes from me. No doubt about it. ;-)

I looked at some of your pictures today and as it frequently does, I was struck again how impossible it is that you aren't with me anymore. I see the pictures and remember how I felt and how you were while the picture was taken and it just seems so real...tangible. Then I remember you are gone. It's an overwhelming feeling of separation. Just know I will always be forever grateful I was able to spend 10 yrs of my life being your girl. I was so blessed to be loved by you.

Wanting you back so bad,
Me

First Day of School

Dear Stephen,

The day Jennifer has been dreading for so long is finally here! Thankfully it went really well.

~Before I woke her up. She was supposed to be in her own bed, being wakened by her own alarm clock, but as you can see, they haven't changed and she ended up in our bed.~

~Not at all happy with me and sure I'm making a terrible mistake~

~Still not a happy camper~

~Slightly smiling but only because she was promised money....definitely your daughter~

~Thawing out slightly~

~Awwww, there's our happy kid! She did awesome once she got there and into the school. Not one tear. Didn't even care I left!~

~She's going to be okay...she was even more happy when she realized she gets to sit beside a girl she met last week~

~This is how I left her. She'll do great because she's got her Daddy's brains and charming personality...I was going to say my charming personality but I know you would have argued that you were the one with the better personality. I definitely couldn't put my brains because, after all, I did score 5 points less than you on the IQ test. ;-) You never would let me forget that!~

Missing and loving you so much,

Shandra

Brooklynn's Surgery

Dear Stephen,

When you told me you were scheduled for criminal court on the original date of Brooklynn's surgery, April 22, I was so upset that you wouldn't be there when your little girl went into surgery. You told me you would see what you could do about rescheduling it but you didn't think you could change it. I just couldn't imagine going through that without having you there with me. Well, I did it. Didn't want to, but I did.

Everything went as smooth as possible. She kept saying, "I want to go HOME! I want to go HOME!" before they sedated her and in the recovery room. It was so cute and heartbreaking at the same time.

I kept thinking if you were there you would be in the bed with her, holding her so close.

You would have been so amused. The nurse came in awhile after her surgery and was telling me she could have clear liquids, popsicles, etc. Brooklynn commented in the background, "I want a popsicle!" The nurse kept on talking and Brooklynn said very forcefully, "I'll tell you! I want a popsicle RIGHT NOW!!!" The nurse stopped mid sentence and went and got her one.

She is doing great now. She was very ornery yesterday which is a good sign. Today she is very active and playing.

Love you bunches!!
Shandra

~Our baby waiting to be taken back to her room~

~Not at all happy with the situation~

~Playing Memory with Grammy and Mama while waiting 1 1/2 hrs before they took her to surgery. Poor kid went 15 hrs without any food and was such a trooper.~

~Feeling pretty relaxed after drinking some "happy juice"~

~Happy to see her big sister~

~So busy~

~Falling asleep while playing with Grammy's ears~

~Our sweet angel...we did good, Babe!~

Thursday

Hey, Babe!
Today we went and met Jennifer's teacher. She was able to meet two girls that will be in her class too. I asked her afterwards if she felt better about going to school on Monday and she said, "Kind of," which is a good sign. :-)

Mom & Dad, Kenton & Vince and Papa & Mama came down tonight for Brooklynn's surgery tomorrow. Brooklynn seems to be okay with it. She told me she just doesn't want any needles. I told her I would tell them that. :-) I'm feeling really bad you won't be here tomorrow. I need you. So does Brooklynn. I loved watching you with the girls when they were sick. Your arms would swallow them up and you would have such a peaceful, protective look on your face.

Tonight we went to orientation at Jennifer's school. It went good and I think we will really like it there. It made me feel bad though sitting there realizing you should be there with me like most of the other wives' husbands.

All yours,
Shandra